Author: Stan Dokmanus

Understanding addiction as a choice or disease.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

When someone is suffering with addiction to whatever substance it is very painful, scary and dangerous. Depression can be a part of the diagnosis.

Helpless, hopeless and worthless are how people feel. The irrational thoughts that go with these are not helpful either.

How did this happen to me? you might ask. The root word of addiction is addictus (addictio). It means to be taken over. Alcohol or other drugs have taken over you. Some drugs require professional help with detox.

A person could die trying to stop abruptly. Residential detox may be needed as well as MAT – medically assisted treatment.

Treatment is a choice that must be made by the sufferer or a person with the Power of Attorney or a guardian. I’m not a lawyer so you better check that before you act. The point is, it’s a choice that must be made – my someone.

Irrational thoughts too are a choice once you are aware and notice what you notice. You may feel hopeless, helpless and worthless now, being taken over.

You can control your limiting beliefs and statements with a method called “Catch it. Check it. Change it.” Catch the thought, stop it and check it for usefulness. If you find it useless, change it to a more empowering statement.

That could be going from “I’m so helpless; there is no hope for me; I’m stuck in addiction.” So you catch that statement or self-talk.

You check it for how useful it is or how painful. You say, or your self-talk now says “No. No more. I don’t like that.”

Now you check what you do not like. You play with it. Take the time – it’s your life. You decide it’s not useful.

Change it! “I can do this. I can stop. If Stan can, anyone can.” So there you go. You see that you have a choice.

At one time in your life, maybe when you were ten years old, you were happy and not addicted. This is just an example.

Then a friend or relative, maybe a schoolyard dealer talked you into “just try one. Try it once.” This could be peer pressure or fear of being not liked.

Then you make the choice to use it rather than maybe get beat up. You decide to use again. Then again. And finally – you are taken over. Addicted.

That was the result of a series of behavior choices you made. When you choose the behavior – you choose the outcome or consequences.

So you can see: addiction is both a choice and a disease.

So if you are ready for the choice that will set you free – call me now at 808 385 4550.

Get help with stress and anxiety. Learn to manage anxiety that can lead to relapse.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

We are an interesting species. We miss goals, make mistakes and get different outcomes than we intended.

I meant to do this but I got that. What happened? I wasn’t even thinking about that. Really! What happened?

One answer could be – maybe it is ADD. Attention Deficit Disorder. Adders can be on the way to the pantry to get napkins but on the way something they saw distracted him or her. You see some ‘bright shiny object’ as one of my confidants says and there you go.

Two or three minutes later when everyone is waiting on you, you show up at the table empty handed wondering why are they looking at you that way. That’s the life of an Adder.

It can hurt and be very stressful. It does not do a lot for your self-esteem or self-image either.

So here is a chance to get over that. Just be happy knowing that it is one of your ‘parts’ acting up. Your ADD part. You had a positive intent of getting the napkins that would have got you favor with the family but the ‘ADD part’ took you somewhere else.

You are not alone. Four to 11 percent of children have ADD and live that experience everyday. Some outgrow it. I did not. I’m plagued with ADD even today.

The good news is that it is about being aware now about what has been different about me. Notice I said different, not wrong.

It’s the same for you. It’s a similar type of thing when alcohol and other drugs, relapse and recidivism (returning to thinking or committing crime) get you results other than what you intended.

You intended to remain abstinent. If just for today. But an Old You Part got in the way. You got distracted, forgot and drank. You didn’t intend to get drunk – but you did. Because that’s what we do. Yes. Me too. But not anymore.

So, know that you can control this by being aware of what is going on and that you can change it. Now you will notice the irrational thinking that goes along with the negative self-talk of people who have depression, Bi-polar Disorder, ADD or other diagnoses. I want you to notice what your notice.

“Catch it. Check it. Change it.” Catch the negative self-talk. Check it for how useful or hurtful it is. Then Change it to something more pleasant. I got that from Psychology Tools, com.

Now – see a picture of you over there about 10 feet away. It could be on your left, right or strait ahead. It’s a beautiful color picture of the successful and happy you. You are so happy that now you know why this has always happened. The riddle is solved. You are very proud of yourself.

You feel calm and self-satisfied. Ahh!

If this has been going on with you or someone you love and you want my help now, call me at 808 385 4550.

Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Substance abuse and domestic violence are on the rise due to to the Coronavirus stay home, stay healthy and shelter in place rules.

There are more criminal complaints and calls for help due to violence at home. Public Safety officers fear these the most of all.

And there is good reason. If you’ve caught the news lately you’ve seen that police have died in the line of duty answering the calls.

Understanding that these are stressful times we must consider how it is influencing our behavior and substance use or abuse behavior.

When you know better you do better according to Oprah. Know this: when you use alcohol or other drugs it changes your brain chemistry and decision making skills.

Some people who have never had a problem with behavior, society or the law may be using substances more than usual to combat “cabin fever” and frustration.

Now is the time to be aware of this and to have coping skills at the ready. When you get angry, frustrated, don’t know what to do – realize that it is the times working on your brain.

In stressful times like these the irrational brain, or, your irrational part or parts could be gaining control. Just realizing this can help you cope.

Consider your self-talk: “I can’t take this any more. I don’t deserve this.” “Poor me” – you know. Recognize this is simply self-talk that goes with you and your diagnosis. Maybe you have depression. Times like this can aggravate you, your brain and which choices you make.

Recognize that it is just self-talk, it is normal for you and that you can change it to more positive language. You could realize that “this is only my negative part self-talk and knowing that I can change it.”

“I am in control of this situation and I choose to have a positive outcome.”

If you need help with this call me now at 808 385 4550.

Get help with recovery from alcoholism.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

This Paschal Easter greeting – Christ is Risen is a rich source for CBT, Cognitive Behavior Theory exploration. The statement reflects beliefs and values of many who inhabit the earth. Additionally, it is a powerful and timely beating death metaphor for the Coronavirus challenge facing us all now.

Followers of other beliefs and faiths have different names for the same figurehead as well as different seasons and timelines.

Some strongly believe this person has not yet arrived. 

Each group left to their own does well. Only when we force our wills and beliefs on others’ we have conflict. These conflicts can lead to an imbalance creating a slippery slope for relapse.

Different strokes for different folks. In this time of need to fight this disease globally, ironically, the Christian, Jewish and Muslim calendars choose this month for great holy days. Ramadan, Passover and Easter are celebrated.

This disease does not recognize different strokes or folks.

It wants us all – Dead! How do we come together to fight the invader?

The framers of modern psych theory explained in a nutshell that, it’s our beliefs, values, thoughts and feelings that lead to our behavior. We have all the strengths and resources to resolve our own issues in a healthy environment. This is as true for recovery as it is for mitigating the C-19 threat.

Today with the Coronavirus Pandemic threatening our existence we need to pull together nationally and globally to create this healthy environment. Let’s find some common, sensible ground for agreement.

Our outcome or fate will be determined by our behavior choices. C-19 has been in charge so far. Do we want to rush it? Or do we extend our timeline with proper testing, prevention and treatment?

You cannot rush recovery from alcohol or other substance use disorders. It’s a day at a time. It’s the same with the virus: we beat death one day at a time.

Some believe it’s more important to reopen the economy knowing we will sacrifice human lives in doing so. Others say that opening too soon will lead to a resurgence of C-19. People are literally using a cost-benefit analysis with human lives and a rebounding economy as a barometer: e.g. beliefs and values

At this point logic, science and best practices are the strengths and resources we already have to resolve this issue. To mitigate the threat of this virus our differences must be put aside. Our survival calls for working together. We need scientific, smart goals that reflect our collective human life and survival values.

Do we want our civilization to be left to the crows? No!

Only unity will save the world. Now – as we put aside our historic differences – we can defeat the common enemy.

Christ is Risen!

Substance abuse counseling help includes… Cognitive Behavior Theory.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Cognitive Behavior Theory is the gold standard of treatment for drinkers and druggers. A useful behavior tool is avoiding slippery people. Social distancing is the only thing you and I can control. We cannot control other people or events like the Coronavirus Pandemic occurring.

Some reports say that “the curve” is flattening. Why is it flattening?

It could be because of your (our) beliefs about this event and what we can do about it.

Flattening of the curve could reflect fewer admissions. Yet – deaths continue to rise.

It just makes good sense to wear face masks and avoid grouping. I will not be out dining at restaurants no matter who tells me it’s safe. No sports gatherings either.

My health is more important to me than getting my money back into the economy. Choice is better than no choice. It’s pure CBT. Which do you choose?

Knowing you have done the right thing to control your environment will help you to be more calm, relieve stress. You do know that we create our own stress – right?

Yes. We choose how to feel about any situation.

Times like this are perfect situations for relapse: going back to thinking about or using alcohol or other drugs. This is how we dealt with our stressors, feelings and emotions in the past. Drinking is an example of self-medicating. So are drugging and overeating.

Social distancing from our old using slippery people, places and things is a good idea too.

Good luck everyone. Stay home, Stay safe. Social distancing is working to our advantages. Or you wouldn’t be reading this. Give yourself credit for doing the right thing even when nobody is looking. 4/17/20

Substance Abuse Recovery.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Avoiding slippery people, places and things is a great first step. You’ve heard this before. If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got. That includes “old you” choices.

If you are currently in treatment or have ‘graduated’ and are now out, in-community, in recovery, you need to avoid all those things that got you the things you didn’t want. Maybe things that got you in trouble with your partner, family, employer or the law.

This is what I mean by slippery people, places and things. You know the people you should not be with. You can see their faces as you read this. If you can’t, take a time out now and consider who it was that you were with when you took your first ‘hit’ of alcohol or other drugs. See the faces of your using buddies. See your dealer’s or liquor store merchant’s faces.

Those are the slippery people to avoid. Likewise, you can flashback to where you were when you used. Make a picture of those places. Avoid them.

Slippery things too can cause repeated problems for you. Stop doing the things you did that contributed to your problems. These can create what are called relapse (thinking about or using) and recidivism (thinking about or going back) to criminal activity.

Thinking you can do those things again and get better outcomes is what? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. You can fill in that blank.

At the time of this post Covid-19, Coronavirus is a deadly, Pandemic problem. Social Distancing and face masks are just common sense. Going out when you don’t have to is also about slippery people, places and things.

This type of risky behavior can kill you. So can relapse and recidivism. We can all be tempted by irrational thinking. What do you do when that happens?

“Catch it. Check it. Change it.” I got this from Psychology.com. Catch the limiting thought. Examine it. Where did it come from? Maybe a friend called and said “let’s go for a walk.” “Let’s have ‘a’ beer.” Whoops!

Check it. Stop the behavior and examine the positive intent. Why would you consider it? Would it make you feel better? Independent? In charge? “It’s my body and my life. I’ll do what I want.” Sound familiar?

Change it. Choose another behavior that will get you the same satisfaction. It’s just more healthy.

So whether it’s remaining abstinent (not drinking or drugging), sheltering in place at home, wearing a face mask to avoid C-19, do the right thing even if no one is looking. Avoid slippery people, places and things.

To do anything else is i n s a n i t y.

Help with “Exercise, Diet and Weight Loss.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Cognitive Behavior Theory addresses how beliefs, thoughts and feelings affect behavior choices. How do this relate to substance abuse or Substance Use Disorder?

We can look at food as a substance used to provide fuel for the body. The proper food choices and amounts consumed can get us healthy outcomes.

If we work with a balanced diet based on our height, weight and metabolism along with an effective exercise regimen we have a better chance at a healthy and perhaps happy life. This involves goals and planning.

Too much food, especially the wrong kinds can create weight and health problems for us. No or not enough exercise compounds the problems. These could be Hypertension, heart disease, Diabetes, kidney problems and more.

These can lead to heart attack, stroke, kidney failure and loss of limbs and life. If you are reading this post you are probably interested in how to change or get “unstuck.”

Based on lab work my doctor ordered for me I learned that I needed to make some changes too. One of these was weight loss. I thought with a good exercise program I can reduce my health risks. Diet too needed to be addressed: my food choices.

I decided that I would use Nutrisystem to help me with the food choices, diet and correct portions. It’s working for me. I’m eating smaller portions, losing weight and saving money. See nutrisystem.com for more information that could help you.

If you would like to learn more about Exercise, Diet and Weight Loss Anchoring strategies you can find those at https://www.amazon.com/Exercise-Diet-Weight-Loss-Anchoring%C2%A9-ebook/dp/B083PX7R5Y/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=exercise%2C+diet+and+weight+loss+anchoring&qid=1586650283&sr=8-1

The Criminal Justice and Addictions Counseling program in my catalog could work for individuals too with maybe a little coaching on the side. It was written with counselors and therapists in mind. If we used that together to address your goals it will work fine. Click on the catalog to see more. If you buy this I will throw in a couple coaching sessions for you at no extra charge.

I’m not a physician and am in no way prescribing. You can decide for yourself if all of this makes sense. Or, you could check this out with your doctors.

Substance Abuse and Stress.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Worry about your family, layoffs, work, income loss and your health due to C-19 can wreak havoc on your thinking. This post will not protect you from the virus. Only science, doing what the professionals tell us (shelter in place – isolate) and time can do that.

You do have the strengths and resources to manage your beliefs, thoughts attitude and fear about this. Let’s just focus on your visual resources first.

  1. Make a picture of the stress C-19 is causing. It’s right in your face. It feels scary. It’s a ten, the worst of a scale of 1-10. Let it go. As you let that go, look away, think of your phone number backwards. Take a deep breath and…
  2. Now, make a picture of five things in your life that you are grateful about. See pictures of people in the family that you love and who make you happy. Maybe it is the object of your affection. See that person right in front of you with a big, happy smile. How does that feel? Make the picture a little bigger, a little brighter, a little closer, a little warmer. How does that feel? Better, right?
  3. Okay. Now you have a choice. You can see how one helps you with the other. You have a choice of which one to think about.
  4. Repeat as needed. You can do it ten times to condition the new response. You can use this for anything in the future.
  5. As you consider the future, visualize where you might need this skill again. What picture will you use to give you the strength you will need to overcome that feeling? Focus on that positive, happy picture. See it in rich detail. Is it in color? Is it near, far. Is there any sound? Is it warm?
  6. Now, lightly press your right thumb and forefinger together to “anchor” this feeling for 10 seconds or as needed to capture that feeling.
  7. Let’s test this. Think of a situation where you ordinarily would feel stress. “Fire” your anchor – press your thumb and forefinger together. When you do that your brain gets the message that you want that positive feeling again. What do you see, hear and feel that helps you feel better?

When you think about this – don’t you think you could use this as a relapse prevention skill if you have exercise, diet, alcohol and other drug problems too?

Help with Substance Abuse (SUD) and Work Performance

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Do you need help with alcohol, other drug or behavior problems? You, your family, employees or employer will benefit from these services.

The same problems that keep you stuck in the substance abuse rut are hurting your work performance.

Employers can use these training methods to improve performance and the bottom line.

These are the same methods clinicians learn to help clients improve their lives. Employers will see and understand how this will help their businesses too.

Counselors and therapists will benefit from using this program. You can use this for professional development, CEUs or both.

NAADAC Approved CEUs are available for all clinicians. NAADAC Approved Education Provider #192679, Expires 3/1/2022

Call me now at 808 385 4550.

Help with “Criminal Justice and Addictions Counseling.”

Stan Dokmanus Updates

“Criminal Justice and Addictions Counseling with Rapport, Communication and Transformational CBT Work” for CEUs.

Content/Purpose: Participants will be able to describe and use new and different methods to help clients explore and resolve SUD issues due to cognitive errors. In addition, participants will be able to identify, explore and resolve treatment issues, preferred learning styles of clients, be able to use 12 deletion, distortion and generalization communication errors. Participants will be able to use Socratic Questioning to create new belief and behavior change models.

Target Audience: Counselors, therapists and other clinicians. Check https://www.naadac.org/naadac-ce-acceptance. Counselor I or II (CADC, CRADC, CSADC, CAADC) Preventionist I or II, CARS I or II, MISA I or II, PCGC II, CCJP I or II, CAAP I, CRSS I or II, MAATP I or II, NCRS II, CFPP II, CVSS II, CPRS I or II  IC&RC Certified Substance Abuse Counselors (CSAC), Certified Criminal Justice and Addictions Professionals (CCJP), applicants, etc. NASW members should check with their local affiliate. 

NAADAC Approved Provider #192679, Expires 3/1/2022 has replaced IAODAPCA, Nevada and CCAPP CEU opportunity.

Date: Self-paced, home study.

Location: This is a self-paced program for home or office with a test module included.

Instructor: Stan Dokmanus, CCJP, CSAC (Tax ID: GE-093038796801)

Cost: PDF, check $140.00/credit card – PayPal $145.00

Contact Hours: Six-34 CEU. $25.00 minimum order – six CEU

Registration Form

Rapport, Communication and Transformational CBT Work 6-34 CEU.

(Please Fill Out)

Name: _____________________________________Email_____________________________

Address____________________________________ (And address for credit card)

City__________________________State__________Zip______Phone___________________

Please Check Choice: PDF_______Booklet_______Allow seven business days mail service

For more information contact Stan Dokmanus, Ph: 808 385 4550 – standokmanus1@outlook.com

Check # and amount ______________, Charge: Name on Card________________
Credit Card: Mastercard/Visa #___________________, Expiration Date: ______,

3 or 4-digit code#: ______ Zip Code: __________

Mail payment to: Stan Dokmanus,  P.O. Box 695, Wailuku, Hawaii, 96793