help

Get help with stress and anxiety. Learn to manage anxiety that can lead to relapse.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

We are an interesting species. We miss goals, make mistakes and get different outcomes than we intended.

I meant to do this but I got that. What happened? I wasn’t even thinking about that. Really! What happened?

One answer could be – maybe it is ADD. Attention Deficit Disorder. Adders can be on the way to the pantry to get napkins but on the way something they saw distracted him or her. You see some ‘bright shiny object’ as one of my confidants says and there you go.

Two or three minutes later when everyone is waiting on you, you show up at the table empty handed wondering why are they looking at you that way. That’s the life of an Adder.

It can hurt and be very stressful. It does not do a lot for your self-esteem or self-image either.

So here is a chance to get over that. Just be happy knowing that it is one of your ‘parts’ acting up. Your ADD part. You had a positive intent of getting the napkins that would have got you favor with the family but the ‘ADD part’ took you somewhere else.

You are not alone. Four to 11 percent of children have ADD and live that experience everyday. Some outgrow it. I did not. I’m plagued with ADD even today.

The good news is that it is about being aware now about what has been different about me. Notice I said different, not wrong.

It’s the same for you. It’s a similar type of thing when alcohol and other drugs, relapse and recidivism (returning to thinking or committing crime) get you results other than what you intended.

You intended to remain abstinent. If just for today. But an Old You Part got in the way. You got distracted, forgot and drank. You didn’t intend to get drunk – but you did. Because that’s what we do. Yes. Me too. But not anymore.

So, know that you can control this by being aware of what is going on and that you can change it. Now you will notice the irrational thinking that goes along with the negative self-talk of people who have depression, Bi-polar Disorder, ADD or other diagnoses. I want you to notice what your notice.

“Catch it. Check it. Change it.” Catch the negative self-talk. Check it for how useful or hurtful it is. Then Change it to something more pleasant. I got that from Psychology Tools, com.

Now – see a picture of you over there about 10 feet away. It could be on your left, right or strait ahead. It’s a beautiful color picture of the successful and happy you. You are so happy that now you know why this has always happened. The riddle is solved. You are very proud of yourself.

You feel calm and self-satisfied. Ahh!

If this has been going on with you or someone you love and you want my help now, call me at 808 385 4550.

Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence.

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Substance abuse and domestic violence are on the rise due to to the Coronavirus stay home, stay healthy and shelter in place rules.

There are more criminal complaints and calls for help due to violence at home. Public Safety officers fear these the most of all.

And there is good reason. If you’ve caught the news lately you’ve seen that police have died in the line of duty answering the calls.

Understanding that these are stressful times we must consider how it is influencing our behavior and substance use or abuse behavior.

When you know better you do better according to Oprah. Know this: when you use alcohol or other drugs it changes your brain chemistry and decision making skills.

Some people who have never had a problem with behavior, society or the law may be using substances more than usual to combat “cabin fever” and frustration.

Now is the time to be aware of this and to have coping skills at the ready. When you get angry, frustrated, don’t know what to do – realize that it is the times working on your brain.

In stressful times like these the irrational brain, or, your irrational part or parts could be gaining control. Just realizing this can help you cope.

Consider your self-talk: “I can’t take this any more. I don’t deserve this.” “Poor me” – you know. Recognize this is simply self-talk that goes with you and your diagnosis. Maybe you have depression. Times like this can aggravate you, your brain and which choices you make.

Recognize that it is just self-talk, it is normal for you and that you can change it to more positive language. You could realize that “this is only my negative part self-talk and knowing that I can change it.”

“I am in control of this situation and I choose to have a positive outcome.”

If you need help with this call me now at 808 385 4550.

Help with Substance Abuse (SUD) and Work Performance

Stan Dokmanus Updates

Do you need help with alcohol, other drug or behavior problems? You, your family, employees or employer will benefit from these services.

The same problems that keep you stuck in the substance abuse rut are hurting your work performance.

Employers can use these training methods to improve performance and the bottom line.

These are the same methods clinicians learn to help clients improve their lives. Employers will see and understand how this will help their businesses too.

Counselors and therapists will benefit from using this program. You can use this for professional development, CEUs or both.

NAADAC Approved CEUs are available for all clinicians. NAADAC Approved Education Provider #192679, Expires 3/1/2022

Call me now at 808 385 4550.