A Mother’s Experience

How are a mother’s experiences different from yours as the reader? If you are a mother you may want to add to this conversation. If you are a male I’d like to hear your responses. What have our parents really gone through?


While we are exposed to similar events out there, in our environments, we do come away with different perceptions. Trauma informed readers know that we have all been exposed at one time in our lives to a potentially traumatizing event.

Unfortunately, too often women get attacked, sexually abused, raped and these memories, beliefs and feelings of the experience get burned into the brain like a white hot cattle branding. Imprinted!

Some people suffer with these memories for decades or a lifetime. They can affect identity and every area of one’s life. You’ll be happy to see they can be undone.


Yet – there does not need to be physical, verbal or sexual violence done to the person. An event, any event could be a traumatizing event. If the person who witnessed the event perceives it as such – it is traumatizing. This leads to PTSD.

Paraphrasing Francine Shapiro, PhD., “a person needs to revisit these experiences,” “in a healthy environment” as Carl Rogers suggested in order “to explore and resolve their issues with the strengths and resources they already have.”

Shapiro’s treatment modality for this was EMDR along with other attending skills. EMDR is another complete discussion and the reader can Google that to learn more.

Desensitize Past Memories.

There are more brief intervention eye movement therapies available. These methods are very effective in ‘desensitizing past memories, beliefs and feelings. Clients and therapists have told me how my interventions and CEU courses have changed how they will live and do individual and group counseling.

This can be learned in workshops or online. I’ve helped professionals to do this for themselves, on the phone.

You might want to know how this is done. Once these troublesome beliefs and issues are identified, they are ratcheted down to where they are no longer traumatizing, to be reprocessed.

The way I do this is to help the explorer create a new empowering belief and then ratchet up that acceptable belief to where we have created a new positive re-imprint.

There is more to it than that thumbnail description. There are Meta clues learned in workshops or on the phone that I and other therapists have learned to look and listen for to determine how to structure the solution-focused collaboration. It’s very effective and can be done in one episode for some people. It works as well for males.

We may not or ever know what our mothers have been through. Could that be true with our children too? Dads? It all started somewhere. Is it time for a conversation?


We all have our own issues or baggage. Trauma informed therapy can be more effective in helping women to Transcend the pain that all too often leads to SUD, Substance Use Disorder and even CTC, Criminal Thinking and Conduct: endless, needless, haunting, agonizing, lifelong, pain.

Self-help and self-transcendence are possible. Shapiro, Maslow and Frankl have written about these.

Six Steps on the Trail to Transcendence could help with these issues. You can find a chapter on that in my book: Drug Court Treatment: The Verdict. It’s in the catalog above.

It’s also in my CEU piece, Criminal Justice and Addictions Counseling in the catalog at this site. You get free coaching with that purchase.

If you would like to talk about this subject why not call me now at 808 385 4550.

If you are a counselor or therapist in need of CEU we can incorporate this material into your course plan.

Leave a Reply